James Potter (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alotofgood) wrote2011-02-01 05:12 pm
alotofgood) wrote2011-02-01 05:12 pm
Entry tags:
015. 31 may 1976.
May 31, 1976 — 10:52 hrs.
Hogwarts, Scotland
The Great Hall
"That's enough, Prongs."
James looks up from the book he'd been studiously ignoring for the past half hour, well aware that his friends had been watching him the entire time.
They're not exactly the most subtle when they're trying to be.
"What?"
"You." Sirius waves. "This."
"Your moping," Peter adds helpfully.
Even Remus looks at him worriedly.
"I'm not moping," James argues. "I'm studying." He lifts his book up to show them the cover: Achievements in Charming, Fifth Edition. "Our OWLs are coming up, and —"
"— and you know as well as I do we won't be looking through our books until next week at the earliest," Sirius says.
"Leave me alone, mates," James says.
"Pete."
Peter suddenly swipes the book out from under James' nose.
"Oy! I was bloody reading that!"
Sirius plops himself down into the seat across from him. James suddenly wishes he decided to hide in the library instead of the Great Hall. They never would've found him there — or at the very least, it'd have taken longer.
"Look, James. What you need is to stop thinking about what happened yesterday. What you need is a very fun, very long distraction."
James gives him a look of distrust. "That sounds a bit dirty, honestly."
Sirius ignores him. "This is what I've proposed. It's even got the Moony Seal of Approval."
James glances up at Remus, who gives him a helpless shrug and a nod.
"Get on with it, then," says James.
Sirius pulls a piece of parchment from his robes pocket and flattens it across the table. At the top is Sirius' messy scrawl and what looks to be a collection of scribbles in black and red.
"'Seven Days of Pranks for Severus Snape'?" James reads aloud. "What are you getting at?"
"It probably could've used a less obvious name, but look — this is the idea. For every day of the last week of classes, I propose we do something to old Snivellus to end this year with a bang."
"I'm listening."
Peter and Remus join them, Peter sitting next to Sirius; Remus next to James.
"We all know that git has managed to slip his way out of pretty much every situation involving the Slytherins. All the way from Slughorn's party, he's weaseled his way out unscathed. Well, now we're going to make sure he doesn't," Sirius explains.
James skims down the day-planner Sirius had obviously spent a lot of time on. There are ideas added and crossed out on nearly every day, with Peter's added handwriting saying things like, 'Too harsh?' and 'Not harsh enough'.
Remus, with his favourite red ink, has added to it too. There are notes with, 'A prefect will notice this' and 'This will suffice', accompanied by checkmarks and x's throughout.
"And you did this all yesterday?"
"Well, you weren't exactly talking to us from noon until late at night, now were you?" Sirius says. "It's given us a lot of James-free hours to write this up."
James shrugs guiltily.
"Anyway, this is what we've planned. What do you think?"
James' eyes go to his textbook.
He shrugs.
"You boys have fun without me," he says.
"... you're not serious, are you?"
"I am. This whole bloody lot of it — what's it going to do? Slytherin still won the Quidditch Cup. We're still going to have to hear those wankers gloat about it from now until the feast."
"James," says Remus, "it's not like I ... condone this sort of behaviour —" He gestures to the parchment "— but you haven't been yourself since yesterday. It's ... well, frankly, it's got us all a bit concerned."
"We're trying to cheer you up," Sirius says. "Look, just ... do one prank with us, all right? Just one. And if you don't like it — which, honestly, you'd have to be barking not to get a kick out of what we've got in store — then we'll let you get back to being a depressing, soggy noodle."
James glances from Sirius, Peter and Remus to the parchment, then back again.
He sighs resignedly.
"Fine."
---
The pranks are as follows. For every day of the week,
Hogwarts, Scotland
The Great Hall
"That's enough, Prongs."
James looks up from the book he'd been studiously ignoring for the past half hour, well aware that his friends had been watching him the entire time.
They're not exactly the most subtle when they're trying to be.
"What?"
"You." Sirius waves. "This."
"Your moping," Peter adds helpfully.
Even Remus looks at him worriedly.
"I'm not moping," James argues. "I'm studying." He lifts his book up to show them the cover: Achievements in Charming, Fifth Edition. "Our OWLs are coming up, and —"
"— and you know as well as I do we won't be looking through our books until next week at the earliest," Sirius says.
"Leave me alone, mates," James says.
"Pete."
Peter suddenly swipes the book out from under James' nose.
"Oy! I was bloody reading that!"
Sirius plops himself down into the seat across from him. James suddenly wishes he decided to hide in the library instead of the Great Hall. They never would've found him there — or at the very least, it'd have taken longer.
"Look, James. What you need is to stop thinking about what happened yesterday. What you need is a very fun, very long distraction."
James gives him a look of distrust. "That sounds a bit dirty, honestly."
Sirius ignores him. "This is what I've proposed. It's even got the Moony Seal of Approval."
James glances up at Remus, who gives him a helpless shrug and a nod.
"Get on with it, then," says James.
Sirius pulls a piece of parchment from his robes pocket and flattens it across the table. At the top is Sirius' messy scrawl and what looks to be a collection of scribbles in black and red.
"'Seven Days of Pranks for Severus Snape'?" James reads aloud. "What are you getting at?"
"It probably could've used a less obvious name, but look — this is the idea. For every day of the last week of classes, I propose we do something to old Snivellus to end this year with a bang."
"I'm listening."
Peter and Remus join them, Peter sitting next to Sirius; Remus next to James.
"We all know that git has managed to slip his way out of pretty much every situation involving the Slytherins. All the way from Slughorn's party, he's weaseled his way out unscathed. Well, now we're going to make sure he doesn't," Sirius explains.
James skims down the day-planner Sirius had obviously spent a lot of time on. There are ideas added and crossed out on nearly every day, with Peter's added handwriting saying things like, 'Too harsh?' and 'Not harsh enough'.
Remus, with his favourite red ink, has added to it too. There are notes with, 'A prefect will notice this' and 'This will suffice', accompanied by checkmarks and x's throughout.
"And you did this all yesterday?"
"Well, you weren't exactly talking to us from noon until late at night, now were you?" Sirius says. "It's given us a lot of James-free hours to write this up."
James shrugs guiltily.
"Anyway, this is what we've planned. What do you think?"
James' eyes go to his textbook.
He shrugs.
"You boys have fun without me," he says.
"... you're not serious, are you?"
"I am. This whole bloody lot of it — what's it going to do? Slytherin still won the Quidditch Cup. We're still going to have to hear those wankers gloat about it from now until the feast."
"James," says Remus, "it's not like I ... condone this sort of behaviour —" He gestures to the parchment "— but you haven't been yourself since yesterday. It's ... well, frankly, it's got us all a bit concerned."
"We're trying to cheer you up," Sirius says. "Look, just ... do one prank with us, all right? Just one. And if you don't like it — which, honestly, you'd have to be barking not to get a kick out of what we've got in store — then we'll let you get back to being a depressing, soggy noodle."
James glances from Sirius, Peter and Remus to the parchment, then back again.
He sighs resignedly.
"Fine."
---
The pranks are as follows. For every day of the week,
The Esteemed and Really Quite Brilliant Marauders Present:
Seven Days of Pranks forSeverusSnivellus Snape
Monday - Runaway ingredients and/or shrinking quills
Tuesday - Every time he uses the word [Professor] what comes out of his mouth sounds like a belch
Wednesday - A sign on Snape's back reading 'My name is Snivellus Snape and I smell'
Thursday - 'Wash Me' across his hair
Friday - Glued to a chair in Potions class
Saturday - Self-imposed wedgies
Sunday - A group of racing brooms (from Slytherin's Quidditch team, preferrably) set upon his person